Listen to the Hearts FC Club anthem and it is difficult to pinpoint the reasons behind the recently self-appointed slogan of delusion, perpetuated by devotees of an institution in post-traumatic terminal decline like a once proud but now senile pensioner choking on asbestos, but there are none so blind as those that will not see. They are, as their own (rather twee) club song tells us ‘a wee fitba’ team’, yet they continue to drown in an ocean of big-team bullshit, in a manner akin to the schoolboy who claims that “my Dad’s bigger than your Dad”. This obsession with size is most certainly unhealthy and is stamped with all the classic hallmarks of wee-man syndrome mutated with penis envy.
I actually quite like Hearts. Well, I like the idea of what Heart of Midlothian used to stand for but now sadly fall way short of. Conforming to those standards should be an HMFC requisite but no longer is this the case. The new generation of Jambo has sold his soul to a demon, allowed him to bestially rape his club and then obsequiously tugged his forelock in fawning submission. They also have allowed the proliferation of Scottish Footballs greatest curse which looks to engulf the whole institution. A curse which previous chairmen tried, yet ultimately failed to conquer. Mercer and Robinson were robust in their efforts, as was the lesser known Tom Purdie – a former Hearts Security and Safety Officer who fought tirelessly against the tide but no, the bigots beat him too. Purdie was, in his time at Tynecastle, a fine man and expert in his field, but sadly he was just one man.
Lets not fudge the issue. HMFC are seen on a weekly basis to not only condone, but indulge and celebrate a significant sectarian motivated element of their support which has become, albeit insidiously, increasingly amorphous down Gorgie way. And let’s not pretend it’s a small minority. On 83 minutes of today’s Edinburgh Derby at Easter Road – a sporting spectacle beamed live around the globe – the words “up to your knees in fenian blood” reverberated around the stadium, ejaculated by what will be dismissed as a small minority. Crap! Pure and simple! This should be dealt with by the professional jaw-bumpers at Holyrood who have apparently declared war on bigotry. Aye right!!! Just a wander round Ibrox or Parkhead on any given matchday will tell even the most limited of observers that religious hatred is alive and well and allowed to continue untethered in our fair nation.
Visit Tynecastle, the rapidly crumbling home of Hearts, and you will see droves of grown men flaunting King-Billy tattoos, flying Red Hands of Ulster (yet no flag of St Patrick – why is this?) and hear some unpleasant slogans, vociferously reapeated ad-nauseum by the hordes in the seating decks. The word ‘fenian’ often married to the word ‘bastard’ will be spat with tiresome repetition, particularly when Celtic and Hibernian come to visit. Very odd considering Hearts claim to have no connection with Ireland whatsoever, odder still to hear their claims of family friendliness and zero-tolerance. Remember, this is a club who were seen by the footballing community to welcome Mark Walters (a black Englishman) with a hail storm of bananas complete with accompanying monkey chants.
This is not a nice place to be, this is a mini-Ibrox, behaviour akin to the more ubiquitous and exponentially more noxious, self-styled ‘Sons of William’ – most of whom would have trouble spelling the word ‘protestant’ far less actually knowing what it means. I look forward to popping along Edmiston Drive no time soon to attend lectures on The Reformation. So is it simply a case of Hearts jumping on the sectarianly fueled Ibrox juggernaut of highly toxic, evil bigotry in a twisted display of protestant brothers together or more commercial reasons – if you take the ‘orange’ out of Rangers, they become nothing more than the provincial club they actually are. The same, incidentally goes for the plastic ‘Oirish’ kitsch giving it large on the other side of Scotland’s second city.
I would suggest the former as there is very little money to be made in the East from all that drivel. The bigots at Tynie have chosen this path, and in doing so desecrate the memories of Tom Purdie (1st Hearts captain), Barney Battles (Snr and Jnr), Willie Bauld, John Cummings and Jim Cruikshank, while at the same time affronting Dave MacKay, Donald Ford and John Robertson amongst many other proper, dignified club legends .
And if that is the caveat for being a ‘Bigteamer’, you know what, you can keep it!
embrajeff 
As for this:
“an institution in post-traumatic terminal decline”
Right because being the first team in many a year to split the Old Firm is a sign of a club on the slide. And remind us what Hearts position in the league is now compared to last season – and what Hibs league position was then and is now? Then come back and say which club is in decline. You might also want to look at the head-to-head record between Hearts and Hibs in almost every era. That is where the “big team” chat comes from and the best way to deal with it is to, you know, start winning derbies, finishing third or even higher in the league, and playing in Europe more often than you have during your lifetime as a Hibs fan.
You call our owner a “demon”. Is that because he is foreign? Are you in fact a bigot yourself?
I also love the selling our souls accusation, when it was Hibs shareholders who first approached Mercer to get him to buy their shares, and many did sell to him; he really was a whisker away from gaining control. I can’t think of anything worse than selling out to a rival club owner knowing that you are effectively killing your own club by doing so.
I’ve copied this page and have forwarded your blog to Hearts. You might want to look up the word “libel” with regards to some of the accusations made.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were drunk when you wrote this.
As for this:
“an institution in post-traumatic terminal decline”
Right because being the first team in many a year to split the Old Firm is a sign of a club on the slide. And remind us what Hearts position in the league is now compared to last season – and what Hibs league position was then and is now? Then come back and say which club is in decline. You might also want to look at the head-to-head record between Hearts and Hibs in almost every era. That is where the “big team” chat comes from and the best way to deal with it is to, you know, start winning derbies, finishing third or even higher in the league, and playing in Europe more often than you have during your lifetime as a Hibs fan.
I’m more than aware and, of course, less than enamoured with what is an increasingly appalling derby record, but when one takes an overview of both clubs, it will come as little surprise to learn that I refer of course to the broken promises, the debt haemorrhage, and the manner in which decisions appear to be taken (at least as reported publically). The main stand at Tynecastle is rotting and remains one of the very few wooden stands in any top league in Europe – one wonders how the safety certificate remains on repeat prescription – while box loads of planning applications and projected timelines are used to appease the fans who are filling the coffers through blind loyalty – http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20070820/timeline_2241749_1091729. If you want to do this fair enough. Some people are alcoholics, some are hopeless gamblers, others are addicted to their team and it is this addiction that affords football clubs the latitude to exploit their fans; yes all clubs do this but with Hearts, it seems to be an investement in smoke and mirrors – where is the new stadium, or even the new stand? Where are the world cup galacticos? (Zenidine Zidane???) Where is the Champions League trophy or even the assured SPL trophy? Surely splitting the Old Firm is an admission of being happy with second best and hardly becoming of a ‘big team
You call our owner a “demon”. Is that because he is foreign? Are you in fact a bigot yourself?
Are you sure I have explicitly asserted as fact that your ‘owner’ is a demon or indeed his ethnicity as being of any relevance (it seems the foreigner fixation is a pertinent factor after all down EH11) and are you acquainted with the basic metaphorical implications of the Faustian Pact? And as someone who is personally acquainted with many people from many diverse walks of life, from many places around the world I consider myself devoid of all prejudice particularly in terms of ethnic orientation but I would never deem myself so haughty as to claim perfection
I also love the selling our souls accusation, when it was Hibs shareholders who first approached Mercer to get him to buy their shares, and many did sell to him; he really was a whisker away from gaining control. I can’t think of anything worse than selling out to a rival club owner knowing that you are effectively killing your own club by doing so.
And as you know, it never happened because the good people of Edinburgh – from both sides of the footballing divide – were mobilised into effective preventative action. And as my wise old grandmother was oft wont to say, “nearly never killed a man”, whiskers or not. I can of course think of many things worse than the example you have erroneously mooted but perhaps I get out more than your good self.
I’ve copied this page and have forwarded your blog to Hearts. You might want to look up the word “libel” with regards to some of the accusations made.
I am very aware of the word libel and its ambiguous implications and indeed its definition. Oddly its rather close to the word ‘lie’ in the OED which is certainly, at best, an apposite coincidence in view of the link above – one of many in similar vein. No accusations merely observations based on experience, but in an almost typical cliche fulfilling display of petulance, running to tell the teacher rarely cauterises the problem, merely serving to deny and deflect the real issues.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were drunk when you wrote this.
I thank you for your magnanimity but there is no doubt. I will happily accompany you to Tynecastle and highlight all examples of religious intolerance – shall we sit in Section N (Purple Section North Lower) with these bastions of tolerance resplendent in club colours?